Pastor’s Wedding Policies
Pastor Brandon’s Wedding Policies
The wedding ceremony of a couple who are in love with each other and in love with the Lord Jesus is a very beautiful time, reflecting the very love with which Christ loved His dear church. I take great pleasure in providing a wedding service of dignity and beauty for those couples whose hearts are invested in building a Christian marriage.
Unfortunately, however, many young couples today see a wedding ceremony as a merely outward display before others without considering the deeper, spritual matters. Some feel that “their Pastor” (or any minister, for that matter) is obligated to provide them this service.
I, however, feel that everytime I perform a wedding ceremony, I am endorsing the couple’s display of commitment to one another “before God and these assembled witnesses.” Therefore, I take very seriously any public vow of a couple to have a Christian marriage. I even believe I am at least partly responsible for preparing the couple for lifelong marriage. It is of the utmost importance that I do everything in my power to ensure that a couple hast the right spiritual footing in these times when marriages so often fail.
Therefore, I unapologetically have these policies to rest upon. More than anything else, I reserve the right to decide for whom I will perorm wedding ceremonies and for whom I will not. The following are general guidelines that I follow with conviction.
1. I require a minimum of three months’ notice to perform a wedding and prefer six months’ notice. Exceptions will be given only rarely, and always at my own discretion. Further, the bride or groom must be a member of Bethel, or be referred by a member of Bethel.
2. The bride and groom must be believers in Christ and must agree on the basic doctrines of the faith, such as the truthfulness of the Bible, the identity of Jesus Christ, His death, burial, and resurrection, and His payment for their sins. I reserve the right not to marry non-Christians as well as those with radically opposing viewpoints. They must be one in Christ and one in their belief system.
3. If either the bride or groom is divorced, I reserve the right to investigate the cause of divorce as well as the steps taken to recover from it. All too often, people carry problems from one failed relationship into the next, dooming it to similar failure. I want to make sure they have taken the necessary steps to prepare themselves for another marriage.
4. If the couple is honest in admitting that they have engaged in pre-marital sex, I reserve the right to require them to sign a contract committing themselves to abstinence and sexual purity until the wedding date. This ensures that I may sincerely ask God to bless their union, and it also provides a huge blessing for the couple as they approach their wedding day with a renewed sense of restored purity.
5. If the couple is cohabitating, they must agree to make separate living arrangements until the wedding date. I realize that this may cause significant inconvenience to a couple, even financial shortages, but once again, I want to be able to sincerely and confidently ask God to bless their union as a Christ-honoring marriage.
6. Young couples, marrying for the first time, will generally be expected to secure the blessing of both sets of parents (if applicable). Special circumstances will certainly be taken into consideration, but the unity of the larger family is highly important to the strength of the new marriage, as well as being important in keeping the command to “honor thy father and thy mother…”
7. I do require couples to agree to a minimum of six and a maximum of twelve sessions of pre-marital counseling and to complete all assignments given during that counseling.
8. I reserve the right to refuse to perform a wedding when either the bride or groom participates in pre-wedding parties involving drunkenness or viewing nakedness.
9. No alcohol may be served on Bethel’s campus in any way, shape, or form. I also reserve the right to refuse to perform a ceremony when I know in advance that an open bar will be provided to reception guests following the wedding.
10. As a matter of propriety and to respect the particular convictions of Bethel’s members, no dancing may be a part of any reception held on Bethel’s property.
If you have no disagreements with these policies, then by all means, I would be honored to be invited to consider performing your wedding ceremony should you desire me to do so.